The other day, KHLOE KARDASHIAN beamed with pride about how her sister KIM was going through with her commitments in Australia despite all the pain and anguish she’s feeling.

–Well, it was good while it lasted.  Yesterday, Kim announced that she and Khloe are skipping their final scheduled appearance, which was some kind of horse-racing event tomorrow, and heading home.

–Meanwhile, a source says Kim and KRIS HUMPHRIES are still talking on the phone and texting.

–And while Kim is, quote, “truly surprised and shocked at the backlash she has gotten since she decided to file for divorce,” there’s pretty much no chance of a reconciliation.

–The source says, quote, “Kim clearly sees that they are just two completely different people, that never should have gotten married.

–”Even though Kris said earlier in the week he would do whatever it would take to save his marriage, he is now accepting that the relationship is over.”

–And, as if on cue, Kris was spotted in his hometown in Minnesota yesterday with a BARE RING FINGER.

Vivica Fox’s Fiance Says He Dumped Her Because There Was Too Much “Negativity and Drama”

Last we heard, VIVICA A. FOX was engaged to Omar White . . . a man 19 years younger than her.  Well, it’s over.  And Omar says HE’S the one who pulled the plug . . . because Vivica is too high-maintenance.

–He says, quote, “She’s a good woman, it’s just one of those situations where in life people outgrow each other.

–”I’m highly intelligent, very wise and one thing I hate is negativity and drama, I hate arguing, and I value communication no matter what the problem may be.  So as in any relationship, tension can build up and I finally had to walk away.”

–He adds, quote, “I was only in it for love and it just didn’t work out.  Even though she was older than me the age difference didn’t play a part.”

–Vivica hasn’t responded to Omar’s statement, but yesterday she Tweeted, quote, “I’m excellent!  All is good thankx!”

Jennifer Lopez Fired a Manager Who Told Her to Lose Weight

A lot of actresses will tell you you’re perfect the way you are, that it’s okay to have a little extra weight on you, that beauty is on the inside . . . you know, all that inspirational-type stuff.

–And yet you NEVER see them with even an ounce of fat on their bodies, and you can totally tell they’re going to insane lengths to remain as skinny as possible at all times.

–Which is why this is refreshing:  JENNIFER LOPEZ once FIRED a manager who told her to lose weight.

–She says, quote, “I was just so infuriated that somebody said you couldn’t have a little extra meat on you . . . because I was by no means fat!  That was so mean and closed-minded.

–”I was like:  ’No, this is who I am and this is the type of woman that I grew up with and it was beautiful and there’s no reason to be anybody but myself.’”

–HOWEVER . . . J-Lo might not always be so confident in her looks.  Therefore, she’s not willing to rule out plastic surgery.  She says, quote, “Honestly, I’m not going to make a judgment on it because I don’t have to yet.

–”I mean, I’d like to think I’ll feel great about myself and age gracefully, but then I think:  ’Well, what if I do want a little bit of something?’  I’m open to being open.”

Detroit Lions Fans Are Upset That Nickelback Was Chosen to Play the Thanksgiving Halftime Show

NICKELBACK was selected to play the halftime show of the Thanksgiving football game between the Detroit Lions and the Green Bay Packers.  The game is being held in Detroit, and the local fans do NOT want Nickelback to be there.

–In fact, there’s an online petition making the rounds . . . asking the band to be replaced, because the fans are apparently DISGUSTED by Nickelback.

–Here’s the full explanation, from the petition:  Quote, “This game is nationally televised, do we really want the rest of the U.S. to associate Detroit with Nickelback? Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?!

–”Does anyone even like Nickelback?  Is this some sort of ploy to get people to leave their seats during halftime to spend money on alcoholic beverages and concessions?

–”This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game.  At least the people watching at home can mute their TVs.  The Lions ought to think about their fans before choosing such an awful band to play at halftime.”

Drew Barrymore and Eddie Murphy Are the Most Overpaid Actors in Hollywood

The unstoppable list-makers at Forbes.com have released their annual tally of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors.

–This year’s champ is DREW BARRYMORE . . . whose movies make a mere 40 CENTS for every dollar studios spend on her.

–EDDIE MURPHY finished second with $2.70.

–The list was calculated based on each actor’s last three NON-ANIMATED movies.

–Drew’s last three movies were “Going the Distance”, “Everybody’s Fine” and “Whip It” and none of them were money makers.

–Eddie’s were “Imagine That”, “Meet Dave” and “Norbit”.  (–If not for the ban on animated flicks, “Shrek Forever After” would have been on Eddie’s list in place of “Norbit”, and his name might not even have come up.)

(–But Eddie has “Tower Heist” coming out this weekend, and it could very well be a hit.  And he’s hosting the Oscars.  So maybe his fortunes are reversing.)

LINDSAY LOHAN admitted in court yesterday that she violated her probation by getting booted from her community service at a Los Angeles women’s shelter.  And, as a result, she was slapped with a 30-DAY jail sentence.

–Judge Stephanie Sautner told Lindsay she COULD end up with 300 days behind bars.  She’s on a strict schedule of community service deadlines and therapy appointments over the next several months.  If she sticks to it, her sentence remains 30 days.

–If not, she gets the other 270 tacked on.  Judge Sautner said, quote, “This is known as putting the keys to jail in the defendant’s pocket . . . the first time you violate, you will go to jail.”

–She added, quote, “From what I can see, you need a structure, and this is a structure.”

–By the way . . . Lindsay will be doing all of her community service at the morgue now.

–Judge Sautner decided not to send Lindsay back to the shelter that booted her . . . and another shelter for homeless women refused to take her, because they think she sets a bad example for women who are trying to get their lives back together.

–Lindsay wasn’t taken into custody immediately.  Sautner gave her until November 9th to surrender.  Why?  Because Lindsay’s attorney said she needed time to finish her “Playboy” magazine shoot.

–She said Lindsay has a contract with “Playboy” worth close to $1 million.

–There’s no official word why “Playboy” needs Lindsay back.  At least one source claims HUGH HEFNER wasn’t happy with the pics that were shot last week, and he’s hiring another photographer to do them over again.

Justin Bieber Is Going to “Ignore the Rumors” . . . And His Christmas Album May Hit #1

–Justin Bieber has personally responded to the accusation that he’s the father of a 20-year-old’s child.

–He Tweeted, quote, “All the rumors . . . the gossip . . . I’m gonna focus on the positives . . . the music.  So I’m going to ignore the rumors . . . Judge me on the music!  Love yall!”

(–His people previously called this girl’s statements, quote, “malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false claims.”)

–Justin’s reps would not comment when asked if he’d submit to a paternity test.

–This probably goes without saying, but Justin Bieber’s fans have already begun sending Mariah death threats.  (–This happens any time any woman interacts with Justin in any way.)

–In  happier news, JUSTIN BIEBER’S Christmas album, “Under the Mistletoe”, is on pace to sell 200,000 to 220,000 copies in its first week, which would probably make it a #1 album.

Do “Dancing with the Stars” Pros Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Derek Hough “Hate Each Other”?

There may be a BEEF behind the scenes on “Dancing with the Stars”.

–“Us” magazine claims there’s some serious bad blood between dancers MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY and DEREK HOUGH.  A so-called “insider” says, quote, “They hate each other.”

–It’s unclear why they dislike each other, but Maks briefly dated Derek’s sister JULIANNE HOUGH before she moved on to RYAN SEACREST.

–And when Maks had his little feud with the judges a few weeks ago, the word behind the scenes was that Derek was on THEIR side . . . and that angered Maks, who claimed Derek was KISSING UP.

Johnny Depp Almost Died While Making “The Rum Diary”

The world almost had to make do without JOHNNY DEPP . . . because he came pretty close to DEATH while filming his latest movie“The Rum Diary” . . . after a plane he and director Bruce Robinson were in broke down in mid-air.

–Johnny says, quote, “The plane just shut down.  The sound of the engines stopped.  There was silence.  Bruce and I were looking at each other and I think I said, ‘Is this it?’

–”It was like this weird extended moment when you’re just floating for a second and you could feel this unpleasant descent.

–”Nobody said a word except for Bruce and I, sitting next to each other saying, ‘Oh [crap]!  This is death;  I guess this is how it goes down.’  Then we burst into hysterical laughter at the idea that this was how we were going to die.”

–Obviously, the engines kicked back in, and everything was cool.  Johnny says, quote, “I guess you could say that was a big bonding experience for Bruce and me.  For a moment there, we were going down together.”

KIM KARDASHIAN broke her silence yesterday and addressed her impending divorce on her blog.  And she said her 72-day marriage to KRIS HUMPHRIES was NOT a sham.

–She said, quote, “First and foremost, I married for love.  I can’t believe I even have to defend this.  I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show!”  (–Personally, I can’t believe Kim can’t believe it.)

–She added that agreeing to make her wedding a TV event was not necessarily the smartest decision, but, quote, “it’s who I am!”

–She added, quote, “I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have.

–”I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.”

–Kim also asked us to RESPECT HER COURAGE in walking away from the marriage . . . and said reports that she made millions off the wedding are, quote, “simply not true.”

–She did receive thousands of dollars in wedding gifts.  And she said, quote, “I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding and I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation.

–”I’m sorry if I have hurt anyone, but my dad always told me to follow my heart and I believe now that I really am.”

A 20-Year-Old Claims Justin Bieber Is the Father of Her Child

JUSTIN BIEBER has managed to keep himself fairly scandal-free over the past few years.  The only “controversial” things he’s done are . . . engaging in a little PDA with SELENA GOMEZ, and getting a new haircut.

–But if this next story is true . . . and that’s a big IF . . . those days may be over.

–According to “Star” magazine, a 20-year-old woman named Mariah Yeater claims Justin is the father of her three-month old baby. She’s filed a lawsuit demanding that he take a paternity test to, quote, “scientifically confirm” that he’s the daddy.

–Of course, if he IS the father, she wants him to “provide adequate [child] support.”

–Mariah claims the encounter happened backstage, after Justin performed in Los Angeles on October 25th of last year.  She was 19 at the time . . . he was 16.  Justin hasn’t commented on this, but his people have.

–His rep released a statement saying, quote, “It’s sad that someone would fabricate malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false claims . . . we will vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to defend and protect Justin against these allegations.”

–A court hearing has been scheduled for December 15th.

Hugh Grant Has Accidentally Become a Father

Nine months ago, HUGH GRANT had some fun.  Today, he’s a father.  There’s no word who the mother is.

–Hugh’s rep says, quote, “I can confirm that Hugh Grant is the delighted father of a baby girl.  He and the mother had a fleeting affair and while this was not planned, Hugh could not be happier or more supportive.

–”He and the mother have discussed everything and are on very friendly terms.”

–This is Hugh’s first child.  He’s 51 years old.

Are Denise Richards and Richie Sambora Dating Again?

DENISE RICHARDS and BON JOVI guitarist RICHIE SAMBORA might be dating again.  A source says, quote, “It’s serious but they are trying to keep it low key.”

–Denise and Richie dated in 2006 after they left their respective spouses, CHARLIE SHEEN and HEATHER LOCKLEAR.  They broke up in 2007.

–Denise is 40 years old . . . Richie is 52.

Jerry Seinfeld Will Be Regis Philbin’s First Replacement on “Live”

JERRY SEINFELD will be REGIS PHILBIN’S first temporary replacement on “Live! With Regis and Kelly”.  Regis’ last day is Friday, November 18th . . . and after that, the show will be called “Live! With Kelly”.

–Jerry will co-host the show with KELLY RIPA on the shortened week before Thanksgiving . . . from Monday, November 21st through Wednesday, the 23rd.  The show will use guest co-hosts until they decide on Regis’ permanent replacement.

LINDSAY LOHAN got her jacked up teeth fixed . . . and she’s so happy with her new look she posted a picture of it on Twitter, along with the message, “Thanks, Dr. Dorfman for the zoom . . . My gums are so sore though!”

–Dr. Bill Dorfman is a dentist to the stars in L.A.  He was also on “Extreme Makeover” and “The Doctors”.

–Lindsay could be taking those new choppers with her to JAIL.  She has a hearing on Wednesday to address her probation violation.

(Speaking of the Lohans . . . Lindsay’s dad MICHAEL was denied bail over the weekend . . . which means he’s still behind bars for harassing ex-girlfriend Kate Major.)

A Stuntman Was Killed on the Set of “The Expendables 2″

One stuntman was killed and another suffered critical injuries in an accident on the set of “The Expendables 2″ in Bulgaria.

–It has something to do with an explosion on a rubber boat that was out on a lake, but that’s all we know about it right now.

Adele Has Been Forced to Shut It Down for the Rest of 2011 . . . So She Can Have Throat Surgery

ADELE is still rolling in some deep vocal chord issues . . . and now it’s at the point where she has to have throat surgery.  Not surprisingly, that will keep her sidelined through the rest of the year.

–A message on her website says, quote, “She is to undergo surgery to alleviate the current issues with her throat and a full recovery is expected.

–”As a result, doctors have ordered her to rest her voice and completely recuperate before looking to schedule any work commitments.”  Concert refunds will be available from the point of purchase.

–It’s unclear when she’s having the surgery.

Fox Is Bringing Back “In Living Color” with Keenen Ivory Wayans

Yet ANOTHER old TV show is coming back.  Fox is reviving “In Living Color” with KEENEN IVORY WAYANS, who created the show over 20 years ago.

–“In Living Color” originally aired on Fox from 1990 to 1994 . . . and launched the careers of JAMIE FOXX, DAVID ALAN GRIER, and a then-unknown comedian named JIM CARREY.  It also made the WAYANS family household names.

–Fox will test the waters by airing two half-hour “In Living Color” specials sometime next spring.  If they’re successful, it’ll become a full-blown series next fall.  Keenen will host the specials, with a new cast of, quote, “fresh, young talent.”

“Puss in Boots” Broke the Halloween Weekend Box Office Record

“Puss in Boots” made $34 million this weekend, which is the biggest total for a Halloween weekend ever.  (–The previous record was held by “Saw 3″, which made $33.6 million when it came out in 2006.)

–“Paranormal Activity 3″ lost a little steam, but still made another $18.5 million in 2nd place.  The JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE sci-fi thriller “In Time” came in third with $12 million, while JOHNNY DEPP’S “The Rum Diary” made $5 million in 5th place.

–Here are this week’s Top 5 movies . . .

1.)  NEW:  “Puss in Boots”, $34 million

2.)  “Paranormal Activity 3″, $18.5 million.  Up to $81.3 million in its 2nd week.

3.)  NEW:  “In Time”, $12 million

4.)  “Footloose”, $5.4 million.  Up to $38.4 million in its 3rd week.

5.)  NEW:  “The Rum Diary”, $5 million

MICHAEL LOHAN was arrested YET AGAIN yesterday.  This time, it was because he tried to call ex-girlfriend KATE MAJOR . . . the one he allegedly beat up earlier this week.

–Kate already had a restraining order against Michael . . . and it was extended after that latest incident.

–And here’s the kicker:  When police showed up at Michael’s motel to arrest him, he tried to jump from his third-story balcony to get away.  It didn’t go as planned.  Michael hurt his foot during the jump, and it might be broken.

“Dancing With the Stars” Judge Carrie Ann Inaba Met Her Fiance on eHarmony

Even famous people use online dating services.  Like “Dancing With the Stars” judge CARRIE ANN INABA, who met her fiancé . . . an accountant named Jesse Sloan . . . on eHarmony.

–She says, quote, “I was dating all these younger guys, and [thought] I had to change it up.”

–And while she didn’t post a photo with her questionnaire, she got pretty specific . . . quote, “I said ‘You need to be sexy’ [and] ‘I love cats.’  He was the one they sent me, and it just felt familiar.  [Looking at] his picture, I felt like I already knew him.”

Justin Bieber Was Pulled Over for Cutting Off a Motorcycle Cop in His Batman-Themed Cadillac

JUSTIN BIEBER got pulled over in Los Angeles the other day for accidentally cutting off a motorcycle cop in his Batman-themed Cadillac.  He got off with just a warning.

–Justin’s car has Batman symbols on the front and back, as well as the word “Batmobile” on the trunk.  It also has a custom “JB” logo on the side.

Charlie Sheen’s “Anger Management” Sitcom Will Air on FX

Well, it’s official:  CHARLIE SHEEN will return to TV next year.  His new sitcom, “Anger Management” has been picked up by cable’s FX network.  They’ve ordered 10 episodes, which will air next summer.

–“Anger Management” is LOOSELY based on the ADAM SANDLER / JACK NICHOLSON movie of the same name that came out in 2003.  Charlie’s character will be sort of like Nicholson’s character.

–According to the press release, his character is, quote, “an anger management therapist, who may need more counseling than his patients, and wreaks havoc on the lives of his patients through his unconventional methods.”

– The press release says Charlie will, quote, “retain a significant ownership stake in the series” . . . meaning he could make BANK if it’s successful.  It’s unclear if he’ll also get a traditional salary like he did on “Two and a Half Men”.

–And check this out:  FX owns the syndication rights to “Two and a Half Men”.  In other words, they will be able to pair “Anger Management” with re-runs of “Two and a Half Men” . . . including the ones with ASHTON KUTCHER.

Nicole Richie Is Asking Ladies NOT To Slut It Up This Year

Maybe having young children has had a profound effect on NICOLE RICHIE.  Because on her Facebook page yesterday, she posted this . . .

–”Girls, can we all pledge that we will not dress slutty for this Halloween?  The jig is up.”

(–In past years, Nicole Richie didn’t need Halloween to dress slutty.  But she’s 30 years old and has two kids . . . 3-year-old Harlow and 2-year-old Sparrow.  And her Halloweens have been pretty conservative over the last few years.)

(–Last year she rocked two costumes.  She was Gwyneth Paltrow’s character Margot from “The Royal Tenenbaums” and Jessie the Cowgirl from the “Toy Story” movies.)

A heated exchange between professional dancer MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY and head judge LEN GOODMAN stole the spotlight from first-place finishers RICKI LAKE and J.R. MARTINEZ.

–Lake and Martinez tied with the top score of 29 points.

–Maxim and his partner, soccer star HOPE SOLO, landed near the bottom of the judges’ leaderboard Monday. With 20 points out of 30, they finished just ahead of CHAZ BONO, in last place with 19 points.

–When Goodman called Solo’s rumba “your worst dance of the whole season,” Chmerkovskiy suggested the judge get out of the dance business.

–”The judges have their favorites,” he said. “They always have.”

–LACEY SCHWIMMER agreed.  “They always have their favorites, and this season it’s completely clear who they are.

–Schwimmer cried backstage during Monday’s episode and was still upset after the show, when she complained about the judges’ “rude” remarks about Bono.

–”Every week he gets referred to as an animal,” she said. “They always comment on his personality, and last I checked, this was a dancing show.”

–After the couple danced their tango, judge BRUNO TONIOLI said Bono was like “a cute little penguin trying to be a big menacing bird of prey.” Tonioli has also compared Bono to an Ewok.

Demi Moore Was on the “Two and a Half Men” Set Friday

Despite everything that’s supposedly going on with their marriage, DEMI MOORE visited ASHTON KUTCHER Friday on the set of“Two and a Half Men” . . . along with her 23-year-old daughter RUMER.

–They waited inside Ashton’s trailer until he was done filming for the day.

–A source says that when Ashton returned to his trailer he, quote, “put his arm around Demi and they acted like a couple.  They were talking and smiling at each other.  Everything seemed just like normal.”

Lindsay Lohan is Posing for “Playboy”

According to TMZ, LINDSAY LOHAN is posing for “Playboy”.  And she’ll get somewhere between $750,000 and a million dollars.

–Yesterday, E! Online, reported how she was in the midst of doing a, quote, “top secret photo shoot” at a Beverly Hills mansion that started yesterday and finishes up today.

–They asked her rep if she’s doing “Playboy” and he said, quote, “I can neither confirm nor deny at this time.”

–”Playboy” won’t talk either.  A rep said, quote, “We don’t comment on rumors about who may or may not be posing for the magazine . . . if anything changes, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Are Going to Work Together Again

It was 14 years ago that BEN AFFLECK and MATT DAMON launched themselves onto the A-list with “Good Will Hunting”.  And now, they’re finally going to do another movie together.

–According to “GQ” magazine, they’re doing a movie about Boston mobster WHITEY BULGER . . . who was arrested over the summer.  Matt will star, and Ben will direct.

–There’s no word when they’ll get around to it.  They each have at least one project to get to on their own first.

(–Matt and Ben won the Best Screenplay Oscar for “Good Will Hunting” in 1997 . . . in which they also starred.)

(–They’ve also appeared together in several KEVIN SMITH movies . . . “Dogma”, “Chasing Amy”, “Jersey Girl” and “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back”.)

Despite rumors that they’re leading separate lives and already heading for divorce, KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES were together Friday night to celebrate Kim’s 31st birthday at The Darby restaurant in Manhattan.

–Then on Saturday night, they did dinner and hit a club in Las Vegas.

Lindsay Lohan Showed Up Early For Community Service Friday . . . and She Brought Food

LINDSAY LOHAN spent Friday doing janitorial work at the L.A. County Morgue . . . and check this out:  She showed up for her duties almost 90 minutes EARLY.

–Lindsay was supposed to be there at 7:00 A.M.  Her rep says she was there at 5:35.

–Lindsay had three dozen cupcakes sent to the morgue in the morning to make up for being late the previous day . . . but the delivery guy was TURNED AWAY.

–Assistant Coroner Ed Winter said, quote, “We discussed the issue of these types of incidents and that we would not allow such activity.  I think that she got the message.”

–At lunchtime, Lindsay reportedly ordered In-N-Out Burger for herself and the other volunteers.  Strangely, Winter claims this did NOT happen.

–Meanwhile, a source tells TMZ that Lindsay saw her first dead body Friday . . . and she was, quote, “shocked”.  She also “covered her mouth in horror” when she first saw linens that were stained with blood and other bodily fluids.

–We’ll probably never see Lindsay toiling away inside the morgue.  Staff has been warned that anyone caught taking pictures or video of Lindsay will be immediately terminated.

Relationship Rumors: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively Were Spotted Leaving His Boston Apartment Sunday

Alleged couple RYAN REYNOLDS and BLAKE LIVELY were spotted leaving Ryan’s Boston apartment yesterday morning.

John Mayer Is Recovering from Vocal Chord Surgery

JOHN MAYER is currently recovering from surgery on his vocal chords.

–Last month, John revealed that he had a “granuloma” . . . or an inflamed mass of tissue in his throat, near his vocal chords.

–In a new blog post, he says he’s, quote, “on complete vocal rest for a month or more.”

At this point, it’s still not clear what it’ll take for LINDSAY LOHAN to get her act together.

–Lindsay showed up at the L.A. County Morgue yesterday to do some of the community service the judge ordered . . . but she was at least 20 MINUTES LATE, so they sent her home.

–Lindsay was supposed to arrive by 8:00 A.M., but by 8:20, she still wasn’t there, and they considered her a no-show.

–All told, she was about 40 minutes late.  She’s SUPPOSED to be back this morning.

–Lindsay’s rep has an excuse, of course.  He said, quote, “Lindsay arrived at the morgue approximately 20 minutes late and will be returning for orientation tomorrow.

–”Her lateness was due to a combination of not knowing what entrance to go through and confusion caused by the media waiting for her arrival.

–”Lindsay spoke with the supervisors at the morgue, they showed her how to get in and everything is all cleared up.”

–Lindsay stuck with that alibi on Twitter later in the day.  She said, quote, “With all of the stress and pressure from yesterday and today, I’ve never been so happy to go therapy!!!!

–”Also, I’m sorry for the confusion that I may of caused to those at the Coroner’s office.  Won’t happen again, now I know where to go!  Thank you for your help.”

Are Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Already Breaking Up?

KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES have only been married about two months . . . and “Life & Style” magazine already has them breaking up.

–A source says they’re basically leading separate lives . . . quote, “Kim’s mapping out 2012, including holidays, and Kris isn’t a part of it.  Any itineraries for the future don’t include Kris very much.  That’s not a good sign.”

–Meanwhile, the “Star” tabloid claims Kim has already visited a DIVORCE LAWYER.  A source says, quote, “Kris doesn’t show up for Kim.  He’s breaking her heart.”

–And Kris was photographed yesterday moving boxes out of the New York City hotel he and Kim have been staying in.  He wasn’t wearing his wedding ring.

Pee Wee Herman Hopes to Do “Dancing With the Stars” Next Season

How BRILLIANT would this be:  PEE WEE HERMAN says he hopes to compete on the next season of “Dancing With the Stars”.

–You may not have known this, but Pee Wee is good friends with DAVID ARQUETTE and COURTENEY COX . . . and he’s been visiting the show to cheer David on.

–He says, quote, “I hope to be dancing myself next season!  That’s why I’m there all the time, to get my face up there.  Trying to butter up the producers and everything.  Jury’s out, I haven’t heard yet.”

John Travolta Tried to Book a Table at a KFC . . . And Got Denied

JOHN TRAVOLTA was in England for some kind of conference, and his people called a local KFC to reserve a table for him and some guests.

–But the employee told him that’s not how it works, and he’d have to just get in line like everybody else.  Obviously, this person didn’t believe that John Travolta was actually trying to make a reservation at KFC.

–A KFC spokesman later said, quote, “In hindsight, of course, we would have reserved a table for him.”

President Obama Is Coming Back to “The Tonight Show”

On Tuesday, PRESIDENT OBAMA will be a guest on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno”.  It’s his fourth time . . . he was on twice while running for president, and he was also a guest in March of 2009, shortly after taking office.

–That was big because Obama became the first sitting president ever to appear on a late night talk show.  Like the last time, he’ll actually be in the studio with Jay.

Scarlett Johansson Did Not Make Out with Joseph Gordon-Levitt . . . According to Her Rep

SCARLETT JOHANSSON’S rep says there’s no truth to the rumors about Scarlett and JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT.

–Here’s the official statement . . . quote, “She is not dating Joseph nor did she kiss him.  They are simply friends and talking about working on a project together.”

–And Joseph’s rep adds, quote, “He wasn’t even in NY when ‘Us Weekly’ alleges.  Joseph has met with Scarlett about a potential project to work on together.”

LINDSAY LOHAN was HANDCUFFED and led out of court yesterday, after Judge Stephanie Sautner FINALLY got hardcore with her and revoked her probation.

–She was immediately released on $100,000 bail, and she’s due back in court November 2nd.  At that point, they’ll officially determine if she’d violated her probation and what new punishments she’ll face, if any.

–Obviously, jail time is a possibility.  But if that happens, it could just be another situation where they check her in, then check her right back out because of prison overcrowding.

–Ahead of yesterday’s hearing, the probation department gave Lindsay a glowing review . . . which Judge Sautner basically said was B.S.

–She was mostly concerned with Lindsay being booted from that women’s shelter for missing NINE scheduled appointments.  And she refused to accept Lindsay being reassigned to the Red Cross.

–She said, quote, “No one has the power to change my sentence.  Not the volunteer center and not probation.  She is not getting credit for any time at the American Red Cross.”

–Lindsay’s lawyer noted to the judge that the department’s review said Lindsay has, quote, “reached a turning point in her accountability and maturity.”

–And the judge replied, quote, “Failing to show up nine times is reaching a turning point in her maturity?”

–Lindsay was given a year to complete her community service.  And even though she still has six months to go, Judge Sautner was NOT happy with her progress.

–She noted that Lindsay still has about 57 of her required 60 days left to do.

–Here’s something that REALLY got under the judge’s skin:  The probation report stated that Lindsay didn’t like working at the women’s shelter because it wasn’t, quote, “fulfilling” for her.

–Judge Sautner said, quote, “Is that what a sentence is about?  Is it supposed to fulfill the defendant, or is it supposed to be rehabilitative and / or punitive?”

–She’s also said she doubts that Lindsay has attended all her court-ordered weekly counseling sessions, because she’s spent so much time out of the country.

–Then she dropped one other bomb on Lindsay:  Until her November 2nd hearing, Lindsay MUST work a minimum of two days a week at the L.A. County Morgue . . . for a minimum of eight hours a day.

–Lindsay’s original sentence was 360 hours at the shelter and 120 at the morgue, for a total of 480 hours.

–Lindsay will do janitorial work at the morgue, like emptying trash, vacuuming and cleaning toilets.  She might see corpses, but a police spokesman says, quote, “She will not be touching, handling or processing any dead people.”

The Cast of “Celebrity Apprentice”

NBC has yet to officially announce the next cast of “Celebrity Apprentice”, but apparently that’s not necessary . . . because the cast was “outed” after they were spotted in New York City, doing some sort of sandwich-making task.

–So, here’s the cast . . . according to RealityBlurred.com:

–Adam Carolla

–Clay Aiken

–24-year-old racecar driver Marco Andretti.  He’s the grandson of Mario Andretti.

–“Wayne’s World” minx Tia Carrere

–’80s pop superstar Debbie Gibson

–Arsenio Hall

–Twisted Sister singer Dee Snider

–George Takei . . . a.k.a. Sulu from “Star Trek”

–Former “Incredible Hulk” star Lou Ferrigno

–Model Cheryl Tiegs (–She’s 64 years old now.)

–Magician Penn Jillette

–Comedienne Lisa Lampanelli

–Former Danity Kane singer Aubrey O’Day

–“American Chopper” dad Paul Teutul, Sr.

–Model Patricia Velásquez

–Former Miss Venezuela and Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza

Adam Levine Doesn’t Want Fox News Playing His Music Anymore

Fox News has done something to enrage MAROON 5 singer ADAM LEVINE . . . something other than the usual fair and balanced reporting.

–Apparently, Fox News used one of Maroon 5’s songs, because Adam sent out a Tweet yesterday . . . warning them not to do it again.  He said, quote, “Dear Fox News, don’t play our music on your evil [effing] channel ever again.  Thank you.”

–He didn’t elaborate . . . and Fox News hasn’t commented.

Scarlett Johansson . . . Is Joseph Gordon-Levitt Hittin’ That?

“Us Weekly” claims that SCARLETT JOHANSSON and JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT were spotted making out in New York City last month.  There’s no word why it took so long for this report to surface.

–A source says, quote, “They were kissing.  They were very lovey.  They first met about a film they wanted to do together, but it’s gone beyond that now.”

Jon Bon Jovi Has Opened a Volunteer, “Pay What You Can” Restaurant

JON BON JOVI has opened a charity, “pay what you can” restaurant in Red Bank, New Jersey.  It’s the JBJ Soul Kitchen, and it serves “healthy variations on classic soul food.”  It actually started in 2009, but now it has a permanent location.

–Here’s how it works:  There won’t be prices on the menus.  Diners can pay a suggested donation . . . or earn free meals by doing volunteer work in the community.

–By the way, Jon wants you to know that this ISN’T a cafeteria or soup kitchen.  He says, quote, “It’s the hottest-looking restaurant in this town.  We have to get rid of a few stigmas attached to the word volunteering and making a difference.”

LINDSAY LOHAN has a status hearing today, and the probation department is reportedly in her corner.

–Despite allegedly being bounced from the women’s shelter where she was supposed to do the bulk of her community service, a source in the department told TMZ that she’s still on track to complete her hours within the year she was given.

–There have also been reports that Lindsay has been skipping out on court-ordered weekly psychiatric appointments.  But TMZ says her shrink is satisfied with how things are going.

–But the prosecutors at the L.A. City Attorney’s Office will reportedly argue that Lindsay violated her probation by being booted from the women’s shelter, and she needs to go BACK TO JAIL.

–Lindsay is now doing her community service at the Red Cross, and her rep says she’s been going EVERY DAY, and, quote, “working diligently to fulfill the other requirements of her probation.”

Karina Smirnoff Admits She and Tigers Pitcher Brad Penny Postponed Their Wedding Because of Work

“Dancing With the Stars” minx KARINA SMIRNOFF confirmed yesterday that she and Detroit Tigers pitcher BRAD PENNYpostponed their wedding because of work commitments.

–She said, quote, “It’s just this season is going so well for me and [partner] J.R. [Martinez] and I want to be able to concentrate 100% here.  And at the same time, concentrate on planning the wedding.  So together, it’s just impossible.

–”And Brad’s been gone for two months playing in Detroit . . . he’s just coming back tonight.  So it’s all good.  We’re just going to do it a little later.”

Michelle Obama Doesn’t Mind Her Daughters Watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” . . . As Long As They Learn the Right Lessons From It

Here’s a good example of how ridiculously EVERYWHERE the KARDASHIANS are:

–Even PRESIDENT OBAMA’S daughters, 10-year-old Sasha and 13-year-old Malia, watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” on Sunday nights.

–But MICHELLE OBAMA says she only lets them on the condition that they learn the right lessons from it.  And we should probably note that the president himself isn’t a fan.

–Michelle says, quote, “Barack doesn’t like that as much.”

–”But I sort of feel like if we’re talking about it, and I’m more concerned with how they take it in . . . what did you learn when you watched that.  And if they’re learning the right lessons, like, that was crazy, then I’m like, okay.”

Which Network Will Charlie Sheen’s New Show End Up At?

CHARLIE SHEEN’S new sitcom “Anger Management“ still doesn’t have a home . . . but it sounds like negotiations with various networks are heating up.  So where will it end up?

–Word has it that Charlie has pitched the show to all the major broadcast networks except CBS, which of course is the home of“Two and a Half Men”.

–There’s also the possibility that it could end up on cable.  Supposedly, there have been talks with Comedy Central, USA, FX and TV Land.

–A so-called “source” tells E! Online that Comedy Central, quote, “really wants the show,” but there’s no deal in place yet.

–By the way,“Two and a Half Men” slipped a little farther in the ratings this week, with 16.2 million.  Ashton Kutcher’s fourth episode attracted 1.5 million fewer viewers than the previous week’s show, but it’s still clinging to the Top 5 . . . for now.