The Reason Jessica Alba Named Her Daughter Haven Is Kind of Gross

Some kids have great stories about how they got their names.  JESSICA ALBA’S daughter Haven has a pretty unique one . . . but it’s actually kind of gross.

–Jessica says, quote, “When I delivered Haven she was born still inside the amniotic sac, which is rare.

–”The doctor grabbed the nurse and said:  ’Look at this!’  I was in the middle of pushing and he told me to hold on a minute and not to push!  He was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt and said:  ’Oh I have to get my scrubs on for this!’

–”The sac burst on its own after she came out.  It was a trip.

–”When I was in recovery we still hadn’t chosen her name.  [My husband] Cash picked her up and said she came into the world in her ’safe haven’ and it clicked right then for both of us.”

Ashton Kutcher’s Alleged Mistress Wants Money

Here’s the least surprising headline of the day:  ASHTON KUTCHER’S alleged mistress, SARA LEAL, wants to CASH IN on her fling.

–The word is she’s been shopping her story to various media outlets.  She’s looking for $250,000, but nobody’s willing to pay that much.  In the meantime, she has reached out to Ashton’s people looking for a payoff to keep her from talking.

–Photos surfaced yesterday of ASHTON KUTCHER with someone who looks a lot like SARA LEAL . . . .the woman he allegedly had sex with last weekend.  But these photos were taken in JUNE.   (Daily Mail)

–Meanwhile, Ashton made his first Twitter statement about this scandal yesterday.  First, he posted a link to the PUBLIC ENEMY song “Don’t Believe the Hype”.

–Then he added, quote, “When you ASSUME to know that which you know nothing of you make an ASS out of U and ME.”

A Security Guard Testified that Dr. Conrad Murray Made Him Put Medicine Vials Into a Bag Before Calling 911

Yesterday in DR. CONRAD MURRAY’S manslaughter trial, one of MICHAEL JACKSON’S security guards testified that Murray instructed him to put vials of propofol into a bag BEFORE calling 911.

–ALBERTO ALVAREZ said he was in the security trailer when he got a call from Michael’s assistant telling him to get to the house.

–With Michael either dying or already dead, Alvarez testified that Murray’s next act was NOT to call 911.  It was to HIDE DRUGS.  Alvarez said he grabbed a handful of vials, handed them to Alvarez and told him to put them in a bag.

–Alvarez held open a plastic bag and Murray put the vials in it.  Then he told Alvarez to put the plastic bag into a brown bag . . . and then put the brown bag into a blue bag.  He did.

–It was only then that Murray instructed Alvarez to call 911 . . . which he did.

–Asked why he didn’t question Dr. Murray, he said, quote, “In my personal experience, I believed Dr. Murray had the best intentions for Mr. Jackson.  I didn’t question his authority.”

Rob Kardashian Says Married Celebrities are Hooking Up With Their “Dancing with the Stars” Pros

“Dancing with the Stars” has had plenty of celebrities and their professional partners hook up in the past.

–Yesterday, ROB KARDASHIAN said that’s already happening this season.  Quote, “I know some of the couples on the show, some of the celebrities that are married . . . that are having an affair with their partner.”  He didn’t say which ones.

–Rob is out, since he’s not married.  Same with Kristin Cavallari, Elisabetta Canalis, Hope Solo, Ron Artest, Ricki Lake, and, yep, Chaz Bono.  Carson Kressley is out, because he wouldn’t want to have an affair with a girl.

–We’re also going to rule out David Arquette, because he has a new girlfriend and he and Courteney Cox are friends again . . . he wouldn’t want to blow that.  And J.R. Martinez has been through WAY too much for anyone to gossip about him.

–That leaves us with Chynna Phillips cheating on her husband, Billy Baldwin . . . or Nancy Grace cheating on her husband, David Linch…IF you choose to believe Rob Kardashian.

The Trial of Dr. Conrad Murray, Day 2: The Mysterious Cream Comes Up In Testimony and What Michael Jackson’s Two Eldest Kids Witnessed

Yesterday in the manslaughter trial of DR. CONRAD MURRAY, we learned a very sad fact:  MICHAEL JACKSON’S two eldest children, Prince and Paris, saw their father die.

–Michael’s head of security, Faheem Muhammad, testified that Prince and Paris watched as Murray desperately tried to resuscitate their father.

–Michael’s personal assistant, Michael Amir Williams, also took the stand.  He said that Michael was in good spirits on the evening of June 24th, 2009 . . . and his performance that night was, quote, “amazing.”  Michael died the next morning.

–Williams testified about receiving a frantic message from Dr. Murray at 12:13 P.M. on the 25th, saying, quote, “Call me right away, please.  Please call me right away.  Thank you.”

–When he called back, Murray told him, quote, “Get here right away.  Mr. Jackson had a bad reaction.  Get someone up here right away.”

–Both Williams and Muhammad testified that after Michael’s death, Dr. Murray was very concerned about, quote, “some cream Michael wouldn’t want the world to know about.”

–Murray wanted to be taken back to the house to retrieve this cream . . . but Williams and Muhammad decided NOT to let him back in.

–Also on the stand yesterday was Paul Gongaware.  He’s one of the CEOs of AEG Live, the company that was producing Michael’s concerts.  He said Dr. Murray originally asked for $5 million to be Michael’s doctor.

–That didn’t fly, but Michael wanted Murray . . . so they hired him for $150,000 a month.

–Prosecutors will call a key witness today in an attempt to show jurors that Murray delayed calling authorities on the day Michael died and that he was intent on concealing indications that he had been giving the singer doses propofol.

Did Demi Moore Tweet Something Last Friday that Suggested There Was Trouble in Her Marriage?

There’s still no word from ASHTON KUTCHER and DEMI MOORE about the status of their marriage . . . even on Twitter. Obviously, that’s doing nothing to dispel the breakup rumors, since these two normally Tweet EVERYTHING.

–Neither of them have been very active on Twitter over the past week, and most of their Tweets have been work-related.

–The last thing of interest on either of their accounts was a Tweet Demi posted last Friday.  It was a quote from a Greek philosopher named Epictetus.

–It said, quote, “When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings.  Then you will forget your anger.”

–That was the day before Ashton and Demi’s 6th anniversary, which they spent apart . . . and which Ashton allegedly spent nailing a sexy, 23-year-old blonde.

–The woman’s name is Sara Leal . . . and she has reportedly hired a lawyer and gone into hiding.

–Ashton reportedly told Sara that he and Demi are separated, but the public just doesn’t know it yet.

A Suspicious Letter with White Powder Was Delivered to “Dancing with the Stars”

There was a major freak out at CBS Studios in Hollywood yesterday, when a suspicious letter was discovered in the mailroom . . . that contained a “white powder.”

–There aren’t many specifics, but reports say the letter was “intended” for “Dancing with the Stars”.  (–The show is filmed at CBS Studios, despite being on ABC.)

–All kinds of emergency vehicles were deployed to the studio . . . but when they arrived, the authorities determined that the white powder was not anthrax, or any other harmful substance.  There’s no word what it actually was.

–Last year, the same studio had a similar issue when someone discovered white powder in a letter addressed to BRISTOL PALIN, who was competing on “Dancing”.  And last month, there was another one addressed to CRAIG FERGUSON.

–It’s unclear if the letter was addressed to any one person in particular this time.

TV’s Highest Paid Actresses

Forbes.com loves their lists and this time, they’ve unleashed a list of TV’s Highest Paid Actresses.

–The numbers include their salaries, syndication checks, and endorsement deals in the year between May of 2010 and this past May.

–Here’s the Top 10, along with their estimated earnings:

1.)  Tina Fey and Eva Longoria, $13 million

3.)  Marcia Cross, Mariska Hargitay and Marg Helgenberger,  $10 million

6.)  Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman, $9 million

8.)  Courteney Cox and Ellen Pompeo, $7 million

10.)  Juliana Margulies, $6 million

Thursday TV Reminders

–“The X Factor” [Final Auditions] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

–“The Office” . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC.  (–James Spader delivers a motivational speech to his employees and challenges them to double their sales.)

–“Grey’s Anatomy” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–The fifth-year residents perform their first solo surgeries.)

–“Private Practice” [5th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.

Michael Jackson’s Corpse . . . And a Recording of Him Obviously Under the Influence of Drugs

The manslaughter trial of DR. CONRAD MURRAY got underway yesterday, and prosecutors dropped some heavy bombs right from the get-go.

–During their opening statements, they used a photo of MICHAEL JACKSON’S CORPSE as a backdrop for their slideshow.

–They also played audio of Michael talking while obviously under the influence of SOMETHING.

–Prosecutors did exactly what they were expected to:  They accused Dr. Murray of negligence and incompetence, and said he killed Michael by overdosing him with the anesthetic propofol.

–Meanwhile, Murray’s attorney said in his opening statement that Michael KILLED HIMSELF.  He said Michael delivered the fatal dose of propofol to himself.

–Prosecutors called KENNY ORTEGA to the witness stand yesterday.  He’s the man responsible for those “High School Musical”movies . . . and he was directing Michael’s “This Is It” concert series that never happened.

–Ortega testified that Michael, quote, “wasn’t right” in the weeks leading up to his death in June of 2009 . . . and it caused him to miss several rehearsals.

Rihanna Got Kicked Off the Irish Farm Where She Was Filming Her Music Video . . . Because She Went Topless

Yesterday, photos of RIHANNA frolicking half-naked in a field in Ireland, showed up on the internet.  She was filming the video for “We Found Love”.

–What we didn’t know at the time is that Rihanna eventually TOOK HER TOP OFF . . . which prompted the owner of that field to KICK HER OUT.

–61-year-old farmer Alan Graham says, quote, “I have an ethos and I felt it was inappropriate.  I requested them to stop and they did.”

–But Graham isn’t making a big deal out of it.  He says, quote, “I wish no ill will against Rihanna and her friends.  Perhaps they could acquaint themselves with a greater God.”

–He added, quote, “I had my conversation with Rihanna and I hope she understands where I’m coming from.  We shook hands.”

Chaz Bono Will Dance For You Again Next Week, America!

–Thanks to a bum knee, Chaz Bono was TERRIBLE on Monday night and his scores reflected that. Chaz was at the very bottom of the leaderboard this week with 17 points.

–But Chaz was NOT in the Bottom Two last night.  Those slots were filled by DAVID ARQUETTE and ELISABETTA CANALIS.

–Despite being one of Monday night’s top scorers, with 21 points, America sent Elisabetta home.

Is Jessica Simpson Pregnant?

“In Touch Weekly” says that JESSICA SIMPSON is pregnant . . . and the rest of the celebrity blogosphere seems to be following along.

–Of course, this comes from an anonymous source . . . who says Jessica is already having weird cravings, like nacho chips dipped in chocolate, cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas.

–And at the recent birthday party of fiancé ERIC JOHNSON, she sent back her glass of champagne for the birthday toast.

Wednesday TV Reminders

–“The X Factor” [Auditions] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

–“The Middle” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–It’s trouty mouth time.  “Glee’s” Chord Overstreet guest stars as Brick’s teacher.)

–“H8R” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.  (–Kim Kardashian tries to change the opinion of one of her haters.)

–“Rush: Time Machine” . . . 8:00 to 10:30 P.M. on VH1 Classic.  (–A concert from Rush’s Time Machine tour, featuring songs from their “Moving Pictures” album.)

Nancy Grace Had a Nip-Slip on “Dancing with the Stars” Last Night . . . Was It Caused By Good Luck Charms from Her Kids?

NANCY GRACE experienced a nip-slip on “Dancing with the Stars” last night . . . when her quickstep performance jarred one of her boobs loose, and it slipped a little too far up, out of her dress.

–TMZ claims they have the explanation for the wardrobe malfunction:  The fact that she STUFFS HER BRA.  But it isn’t what you think . . . thankfully.

–Here’s the story:  Nancy’s three-year-old twins have been sending her “special” objects as good luck charms.  These are things like a barrette and a little stone.

–Anyway, TMZ reports that Nancy wants to keep these things with her as she’s dancing, but since the dresses don’t have any pockets . . . she stuffs them in her bra.

–It wouldn’t be surprising if this was bogus . . . but it seems legit.

–Nancy linked to the story on Twitter, and said, quote, “This may or not be true  :)  (kinda true).”

Ellen DeGeneres Was Treated for Chest Pains Yesterday

ELLEN DEGENERES was treated for chest pains yesterday before the taping of her show, but she’s fine.

–Ellen told her audience that she woke up in the middle of the night with a tightness in her chest.  When she got to work yesterday, it was still happening . . . so paramedics were called.

Jordin Sparks and Jason DeRulo Are Dating

JORDIN SPARKS and fellow singer JASON DERULO are a couple.  They were spotted out Sunday night celebrating Jason’s 22nd birthday.  (–Jordin is 21.)

Kim Kardashian is The Most Annoying Celebrity

KIM KARDASHIAN is the Most Annoying Celebrity . . . according to a poll by “Parade” magazine and Yahoo!

–Kim took the top spot with 29% of the vote.  CHARLIE SHEEN was a close second, with 27% . . . and surprisingly, SNOOKI only made it to THIRD, with 21%.

–For some reason, there’s only a Top 6.  Here’s the rest of the list . . .

#4.)  Lindsay Lohan,  16%

#5.)  Donald Trump,  5%

#6.)  “Bachelor” Brad Womack,  1%

Tuesday TV Reminders

–“Glee” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.  (–Idina Menzel returns as Rachel’s biological mother, Shelby Corcoran . . . who also adopted Quinn’s baby.)

–“Dancing with the Stars” [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–Music Guests:  Demi Lovato and The Script.)

Justin Bieber Rented Out the Staples Center in L.A. So He and Selena Gomez Could Watch “Titanic” . . . Alone

This is how you take care of your lady, guys:  On Friday night, JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ went to see DEMI LOVATO’S gig at the Nokia Theater in L.A.  Then they went to a movie.  And that’s where the date went to the next level.

–Justin and Selena went to see “Titanic”.  By themselves.  At the STAPLES CENTER.  Seriously . . . Justin rented out the Staples Center . . . where the Lakers play . . . so he and Selena could watch a freakin’ movie.

–Earlier in the day, Justin Tweeted, quote, “Romance isn’t dead.  Treat your lady right, fellas.”

–We should probably note that the date didn’t cost Justin a dime.  They let him have the joint free of charge because he’s sold it out three times already.

–Also, Justin didn’t think of the idea himself.  He got it from the scene in the movie “Mr. Deeds”, where ADAM SANDLER surprisesWINONA RYDER with a date in an empty Madison Square Garden.  Still, that’s pretty strong.

Jesse James and Kat Von D Have Broken Up Again

It’s over AGAIN for JESSE JAMES and KAT VON D.  Kat said on her Facebook page, quote, “I am not in a relationship.  (And I apologize for all the “back and forth” if it’s caused any confusion).”

–As for WHY they broke up, she told “People” magazine, quote, “It was clear to me that we were just on two different paths in life.

–”My friend put it best when he said I could never be more deserving of total, noble love.  And as a woman, I think it’s important to know your value and never lose sight of that.”

–But she added, quote, “I wish Jesse nothing but the best in life and in love.”

The Black Eyed Peas and Jennifer Hudson Will Perform at the Michael Jackson Tribute

The BLACK EYED PEAS and JENNIFER HUDSON have been added to the list of performers for the MICHAEL JACKSON tribute concert.  This thing is happening on October 8th in Cardiff, Wales.

–Previously announced performers include:  Cee-Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, Smokey Robinson, Ne-Yo, Leona Lewis andAlien Ant Farm.  Beyoncé will also perform via satellite.  Jamie Foxx is hosting.

Monday TV Reminders

–“Dancing with the Stars” [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

–“Terra Nova” [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  (–A family travels back to prehistoric Earth to escape the extinction of the human race.  It stars Stephen Lang, who you know as the psycho Marine colonel in “Avatar”.)

–“Cake Boss” [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TLC.

Is Lindsay Lohan Blowing Off Her Community Service?

Remember when LINDSAY LOHAN told her judge . . . and everyone else who would listen . . . that she was going to buckle down and kick butt on her community service?  Would you be shocked if I told you she may have been insincere?

–Lindsay’s been seen partying it up at Fashion Week in New York City . . . and she’s about to fly to Milan for a modeling gig.  But apparently, she’s neglecting her obligation to society.

–Lindsay was sentenced to 480 hours of community service . . . consisting of 380 hours at a women’s shelter and 100 hours at the county morgue.

–So far, she has completed 60 hours at the shelter and none at the morgue.  She did complete a shoplifters awareness class, but she’s falling behind on everything else.

–A source says, quote, “Lindsay’s team is telling her she needs to log significant time to show the judge that she is working towards completing her hours, but she is ignoring them.

–”Lindsay’s rationale is that she has a year to complete the service, so she isn’t concerned about it right now.”

–Lindsay’s rep says she’s working hard to, quote, “balance the demands of making a living while at the same time fulfilling her court-mandated obligations.”

Is Kate Winslet Dating a Guy Whose Legal Name is Ned RockNRoll?

KATE WINSLET is reportedly dating a new guy . . . and his name is NED ROCKNROLL.   And that’s not a nickname.  No, he wasn’t born with it . . . he had it legally changed.

–Ned is the nephew of billionaire RICHARD BRANSON . . . and he and Kate fell for each other during that vacation on Branson’s Caribbean island.  You know, the vacation where Branson’s vacation house got hit by lightning and burned to the ground.

–There’s only one problem:  Ned is MARRIED.  He got married two years ago, but he and his wife, Mrs. ROCKNROLL separated earlier this year.  She reportedly wants him back, though so things could get ugly for Kate.

The “X Factor” Premiere Was a Major Disappointment in the Ratings

The season premiere of “X Factor” attracted just 12.4 million viewers on Wednesday night, which was a MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT.  (–The ratings for last night’s show aren’t out yet.)

–For comparison, 26.1 million watched the premiere of “American Idol” this past spring, which featured the debut of STEVEN TYLER and JENNIFER LOPEZ.  It was also the first season without SIMON COWELL.

–Even without the inevitable “Idol” comparisons, “X Factor” wasn’t even the biggest show of the night.  “Modern Family” drew 14.3 million viewers, “Criminal Minds” had 14.1 million viewers, and 12.6 million people watched “CSI”.

“Extreme Musical Chairs” . . . A Reality Show Coming to the CW! Seriously

There are so many absurd reality shows out there these days that you probably wouldn’t be surprised if there was one on the way called . . . oh, I don’t know . . . “Extreme Musical Chairs”.

–And get this, THERE IS.

–The CW is indeed developing a show called “Extreme Musical Chairs”, which will, quote, “transform the popular children’s game into a physically demanding competition with multiple rounds of elimination set in an indoor obstacle course.”  (???)

–There’s no word when the show might premiere.

Saturday TV Reminders

–“Saturday Night Live” [37th Season Premiere] . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC.  (–Alec Baldwin guest hosts andRadiohead is the musical guest.)

Sunday TV Reminders

–“Sunday Night Football” . . . 8:20 to 11:20 P.M. Eastern on NBC.  (–The Indianapolis Colts host the Pittsburgh Steelers at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indiana.)

–“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” [9th Season Premiere] . . . 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–The Steps-N-Stages Jubilee House for homeless female veterans is renovated with the help of soldiers and a visit from Michelle Obama.)

–“The Amazing Race 19″ [19th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.  (–“Survivor” winners Ethan Zohn and Jenna Morasca are part of the cast.)

–“The Simpsons” [23rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox.  (–Kiefer Sutherland does the voice of a shy security guard who comes to Homer’s aid.)

–“Desperate Housewives” [8th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

Brad Pitt Doesn’t Want Jennifer Aniston to be Dragged Into it Every Time He Talks About Angelina Jolie

People are still talking about BRAD PITT saying his life was “uninteresting” when he was married to JENNIFER ANISTON. He thinks it’s gotten blown WAY out of proportion.

–In an interview he shot for this morning’s “Today” show Brad says he wants it all to stop.

–He says, quote, “I don’t know what was pieced together or put together.  All I know is that my point was, the best thing I’d done as a father is be sure that my kids have a good mother.

–”That’s all I was, or am, trying to say.  It has no reference to the past.  And I think it’s a shame that I can’t say something nice about Angie without Jen being drug in.  You know, she doesn’t deserve it.”

–He added, quote, “I don’t want them to say anything bad like that about Jen.  She’s a dear friend of mine.”

–Meanwhile, sources say that the reason Brad is being so contrite and apologetic about this is because Jennifer’s people went BALLISTIC on him.

–A source says Jennifer was ANNOYED by what Brad said . . . and thought it was, quote, “rude and inappropriate.”

–Supposedly, Jen’s people, quote, “read him the riot act” . . . and within 24 hours, he was on his apology tour.

Hugh Jackman Punched a WWE Star and Gave Him a Fractured Jaw

HUGH JACKMAN was the guest host of the WWE’s “Monday Night Raw” this week . . . and like a good guest host, he actually got INVOLVED in the action.

–He was the corner man for ZACK RYDER in a match with a wrestler named DOLPH ZIGGLER.  And he ended up jumping on the ring apron and delivering a shot to Dolph’s chops to help Zack win.

–Well, according to Dolph, he’s now nursing a FRACTURED JAW.  He Tweeted, quote, “Hairline mandibular fracture . . . it’s not ballet . . . getting a special mouth guard tomorrow so I will NOT miss any WWE live events!!!”

(Hugh Jackman’s BOXING MOVIE comes out October 7th.)

Sarah Michelle Gellar Hates Her Body

You can be rich, famous and beautiful . . . and STILL hate yourself.  Like SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR.

–In the new issue of “Health” magazine, she says, quote, “I totally have body dysmorphic disorder.  I think most women do.  I just have to remember that I’m human, and I’m a mom.  Being a parent changes the vanity at least a little bit.”

(–Body dysmorphic disorder is where a person becomes obsessed with his or her physical flaws.)

The X Factor Kicked Off With An Amazing 13 Year Old Girl

The X Factor started off with a bang as they showcased 13-year-old Rachel Crow from the Los Angeles auditions on Duffy’s “Mercy.”  She has a great personality, as she hilariously told the judges she wants to win because her family has no money.

–The judges were  wowed. Simon Cowell told her she’s the reason they lowered the age limit to 12 years of age and she obviously went through with four yes votes.

–If you didn’t see her, google her.  She’s adorable!

Thursday TV Reminders

–“The X Factor” [Auditions Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

–“The Big Bang Theory” [5th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

–“Charlie’s Angels” [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–Minka Kelly, Rachael Taylor and Annie Ilonzeh are your new angels, but in this version they’re all ex-cons instead of former cops.)

–“Grey’s Anatomy” [8th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–Meredith faces the professional and personal consequences of tampering with Derek’s clinical trial, while Christina and Owen deal with an unexpected pregnancy.)

–“Community” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on NBC.  (–John Goodman joins the cast as Vice Dean Laybourne.)

–“Parks & Recreation” [4th Season Premiere] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.

–“The Office” [8th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC.  (–James Spader begins his reign as the new CEO of Dunder Mifflin Sabre.)

What Did Charlie Sheen Think Of “Two and a Half Men?

Charlie Sheen enjoyed the “Two and a Half Men” premiere.  A source says he called ASHTON KUTCHER’S first scene, quote, “the best intro for a new a character on a TV show of all time.”

–He especially liked the fact that Ashton was, quote, “revealed through the dusty exploded smoke of my remains.”

–By the way, “Two and a Half Men” creator CHUCK LORRE has finally spoken out about firing Charlie.  He said, quote, “We were concerned with our friend’s well-being.

–”That was the whole thing.  We were concerned our friend was gonna die, and everything we did was hopefully to keep that from happening.”

Did Lady Gaga Pour Champagne on Disabled Fans at the Giants Game Monday Night?

LADY GAGA was at the new MetLife Stadium Monday night to watch the New York Giants beat the St. Louis Rams.  She was also enjoying some champagne.

–For some reason, she raised her glass for a toast, then DUMPED IT.

–According to the “New York Post”, Gaga dumped her champagne on the railing in front of her, and it dripped down to the section below . . . which is reserved for DISABLED FANS.  There’s no word if anyone got an alcohol shower.

Adele Interrupted a Concert to Get Medical Attention to a Fan Who Had Fainted

On Monday night, ADELE was performing at the HMV Hammersmith Apollo in London, England.  And as she started singing her song “Rumour Has It” . . . she heard a commotion in the crowd.

–Apparently, someone had fainted.  And when she realized it, she stopped singing and said “MEDIC!” into the microphone.  Then she walked to the front of the stage and asked for the crowd to clear so the person could get medical attention.

–After paramedics helped get the person out of the crowd . . . and confirmed they were alright . . . Adele went back to singing.

“Dancing With The Stars” Eliminates the First Star

–NBA star Ron Artest — now known as Metta World Peace —was the first to go on season 13 of “Dancing With the Stars.”

–The first elimination show kicked off with the professional dancers kicked things off with a sizzling group number set to an amped-up version of Lady Gaga’s “Edge of Glory,” followed by the gradual reveal of the celebs named to the bottom three: Rob Kardashian, Metta and later Nancy Grace.

–The headlining performers for the evening included musician/actor Harry Connick Jr. and self-described party rockers LMFAO.

Wednesday TV Reminders

–“The X Factor” [Two-Hour Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  (–Paula Abdul, Nicole Scherzinger, Def Jam chairmanL.A. Reid, and Simon Cowell are the judges.)

–“The Middle” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–Ray Romano guest stars as an old friend of Mike’s.)

–“Modern Family” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

–“Criminal Minds” [7th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.

–“CSI” [12th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.  (–Ted Danson joins the cast as the team’s new boss, D.B. Russell.)

Charlie Sheen’s Character on “Two and a Half Men” Was Indeed Hit by a Train

Did you catch ASHTON KUTCHER’S debut on “Two and a Half Men” last night?  Was it everything you hoped it would be?

–Just like we’d heard, CHARLIE SHEEN’S character fell . . . or more likely was PUSHED . . . in front of a train in Paris.

–At his closed-casket funeral, Charlie’s girlfriend Rose . . . the one who probably pushed him . . . said his body, quote, “just exploded like a balloon full of meat.”

–Charlie’s death was dealt with pretty quickly . . . and rather brutally.  At his funeral, several of his ex-girlfriends . . . including JENNY MCCARTHY and JERI RYAN . . . talked about all the rotten things he did, like give them STDs and whatnot.

–In a later scene, JOHN STAMOS made a cameo as a guy interested in buying the house.  And he revealed that he and Charlie once had a three-way . . . which turned into a TWO-WAY when the girl left.  It actually felt more brutal and mean-spirited than the Charlie Sheen roast over on Comedy Central.

Rainn Wilson Says TV “Should Be Ashamed of Itself” for Not Giving Steve Carell an Emmy

Before the Emmys, STEVE CARELL was a favorite to win Best Actor in a Comedy.  He’d never won for his role as Michael Scott on“The Office” during his first six seasons . . . so for his final seventh season, people figured he’d finally get recognized.

–Well . . . nope.  JIM PARSONS from the “Big Bang Theory” won.  So after six nominations in seven seasons, Steve Carell never won.

–And RAINN WILSON . . . who plays Dwight on “The Office” . . . says that ain’t right.  After the show, he tweeted, quote, “The world of TV should be ashamed of itself that Steve Carell never won an Emmy for Michael Gary Scott.  Goodnight.”

–Before the show started, Wilson seemed to have a feeling that this wasn’t going to be a good year for “The Office” . . . he tweeted, quote, “[We have] about zero chance of winning this year because the cast has been relegated to rows U and V.”

Somebody Stole John Travolta’s Classic Mercedes . . . While He Was Shopping at a Jaguar Dealership

Somebody stole JOHN TRAVOLTA’S classic, 1970 Mercedes 280-SL right off the street in Santa Monica on Sunday . . . while he was shopping for another car.

–Travolta parked the car and walked two blocks to a Jaguar dealership.  He was only inside for about 10 minutes, but when he got back to his parking spot, the car was gone.  There were no witnesses.

Tuesday TV Reminders

–“Dancing with the Stars: Meet the Cast” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.  (–Performance highlights, judges commentary and rehearsal footage.)

–“Dancing with the Stars” [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

–“NCIS” [9th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

–“NCIS: Los Angeles” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.

–“Glee” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.

–“The Biggest Loser” [12th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  (–Bob Harper, fitness expert Dolvett Quince and tennis star Anna Kournikova are your personal trainers for this season.)

–“Raising Hope” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  (–14-year-old singer Greyson Chance guest stars as a younger version of Jimmy.)

–“Tosh.0″ [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central.

Charlie Sheen Didn’t Make Any Waves at the Emmys

CHARLIE SHEEN presented the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series . . . and surprisingly, he didn’t make any waves.  In fact, he extended yet another olive branch to his old show.

–He said, quote, “I wanna take a moment to get something off my chest and say a few words to everybody here from ‘Two and a Half Men’:  From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best from this upcoming season.

–Charlie even met with his replacement, ASHTON KUTCHER, backstage.  After the show, he Tweeted a picture of them together with the caption, “Giving the new kid a little advice.”

This Year’s Primetime Emmy Winners

“Modern Family” was the big winner at last night’s Emmys, bringing in FIVE awards . . . including the first two of the evening.

Here are all the Emmy winners you care about . . .

–Best Drama Series: “Mad Men” (AMC)

–Best Comedy Series: “Modern Family” (ABC)

–Best Reality-Competition Program: “The Amazing Race” (CBS)

–Best Actor (Drama Series):  KYLE CHANDLER,  “Friday Night Lights” (DirecTV)

–Best Actress (Drama Series):  JULIANNA MARGULIES,  “The Good Wife” (CBS)

–Best Supporting Actor (Drama Series):  PETER DINKLAGE,  “Game of Thrones” (HBO)

–Best Supporting Actress (Drama Series):  MARGO MARTINDALE,  “Justified” (FX)

–Best Actor (Comedy Series):  JIM PARSONS,  “The Big Bang Theory” (CBS)

–Best Actress (Comedy Series):  MELISSA MCCARTHY,  “Mike and Molly” (CBS)

–Best Supporting Actor (Comedy Series):  TY BURRELL,  “Modern Family” (ABC)

–Best Supporting Actress  (Comedy Series):  JULIE BOWEN,  “Modern Family” (ABC)

–Best Variety, Music Or Comedy Series:  “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central)

John Mayer Has Canceled Shows and Delayed His New Album Because of a Mass of Tissue in His Throat

On Friday, JOHN MAYER announced that he’s pulling out of two shows . . . one with TONY BENNETT in L.A. and the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas . . . AND he’s delaying his album.

–The reason is a granuloma . . . which is an inflamed mass of tissue in his throat, near his vocal chords.  He has to recover before he can go back to singing.

–He says his album, “Born and Raised”, still needs more vocals so it’s going to be pushed to sometime next year instead of coming out in the next few months.

–Mayer says, quote, “I’m not sure how long or short a period of time it will be.  I’ve got the best doctors in the country looking after me and I will be singing and touring again as soon as I get the ‘all clear.’”

Lindsay Lohan’s Fashion Week Exploits: First, She Threw a Drink at Somebody . . . Then the Next Night, She Got Kicked Out of a Party

LINDSAY LOHAN spent last week attending Fashion Week events in New York City . . . and apparently, MAKING A FOOL OUT OF HERSELF.

–During one party, Lindsay allegedly threw a glass at a photographer who tried to take her picture.

–The next night, she was at a party thrown by designer Marc Jacobs.  But not for long, because she got TOSSED OUT.

–When Lindsay first got there, the people at the door wouldn’t let her in, because she wasn’t welcome at this party.  So she called in a favor to some local hotel owner who walked her through.

–But a few minutes after she was seated, security came to her table and MADE HER LEAVE.

–Over the weekend, Lindsay’s rep issued the following blanket denial . . . quote, “Lindsay attended Fashion Week on business to see the collections, meet with designers, stylists and retailers and fulfill a few appearance commitments.

–”She was extremely distressed at the level of media attention her presence attracted as well all the rumors that abounded during the week.  These reports were completely false and made-up by people looking to exploit her for their own benefit and self-promotion.”

Monday TV Reminders

–“Dancing with the Stars” [13th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (–This season’s stars are: Chynna Phillips,Elisabetta Canalis, Kristin Cavallari, Nancy Grace, Ricki Lake, Olympic soccer gold medalist Hope Solo . . .)

(. . . Chaz Bono, “Queer Eye’s” Carson Kressley, Ron Artest, David Arquette, Rob Kardashian, and Iraq war vet turned actor, “All My Children’s” J.R. Martinez.)

–“Castle” [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.

–“How I Met Your Mother” [7th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. [Back-to-Back Episodes]

–“Two and a Half Men” [9th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on CBS. (–Ashton Kutcher joins the cast as Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt.)