You know I love me some Poison and I understand that Bret Michaels and his piercing blue eyes are hard to resist even for a 17 year old girl like Miley Cyrus.  BUT, Bret…she is ONLY 17!!  Does this song creep anyone else out?

Here’s a preview of the lyrics:

“Won’t you fall down on me / So close I can feel you breathe /

Tonight in the darkness with nothing to lose / If the truth is all we can see / If I fall for you, could

you fall for me?

“Yeah we both know better than this, still we can’t resist . . . slowly get undressed.”

That’s the cover of the new magazine getting LOTS of reviews about being “edgy” — really?  IT’S LADY GAGA!!!  Lots of reports are saying her hand over her crotch is to cover up some manhood.  She talks about the rumors in the interview and says she’s really quite old fashioned.  She says, “I believe in certain institutions: cooking, serving dinner, taking care of my family. So I consider myself quite the lady.”

Is this cover that big of a deal?  If she was naked I get that but she’s only topless and she’s covering the girls.

Thanks to Paul Poteet for sending this hilarous gem my way!  I LOVE Huey!

Billboard Magazine, one of the last remaining music industry trade publications (okay, it might be the last if they’re still in print) asked my thoughts about the Artists for Haiti remake of “We Are The World.”  You can read my comments online today:

“We’ve been playing “We Are the World 25″ several times a day since its debut. I think it has definitely been one of the rare “event records” of the past ten years and listeners were certainly interested to hear it at least once. However, in purely unscientific web poll research, most listeners have told us …”

Read entire story on Billboard.com here.

A new blog says what 40 websites says about you — some NSFW

By: Nick Douglas
Pingdom told you who uses what social site. AdAge told you who uses what search engine. But what about the rest of the web? GLAD YOU ASKED.

Facebook: Someone you kiiiiinda remember who, if you ignore them, will turn out to be a headhunter (the good kind) and if you accept, will turn out to be a headhunter (the bad kind).
YouTube: An advanced AI that has nearly mastered swearing and is ready to move on to the rest of human language.
Wikipedia: People screwing with Wikipedia.
Pandora: People who left their iPods at home.
UPS: People getting increasingly excited around midday.
Craigslist: Your girlfriend.
Amazon: People buying books.
 Barnesandnoble.com: Barnes & Noble employees.
Chatroulette: Guys with their dicks out.
Pornotube: Guys with their dicks out.
eBay: Guys with their dicks out reflected in a teapot.
GameSpot: Noobs who can only handle BioShock, Dragon Age, and Dante’s Inferno.
Yahoo Games: Hardcore gamers who can plunge into the depths of Harry Potter Years 1-4.
AOL home page: People who don’t get how the web works.
Google home page: People who don’t get how the search bar works.
Digg home page: People who don’t get “work.”
Reddit: People who think Diggers are dumb.
Metafilter: People who think Redditors are dumb.
Slashdot: People who think people are dumb.
WordPress: Bloggers who’d rather be coding.
Tumblr: Bloggers who’d rather be reading.
Blogger: Bloggers who’d rather be on WordPress. How the hell do you export from this thing?
Livejournal: Bloggers who’d rather be dead! Then you’d finally pay them some attention! Well maybe that’s just what they’ll do, Mom!
Xanga: The 90s.
Club Penguin: The two’s -to-thirteen’s.
CNN: People who think they’re reading the news.
Fark: People who laugh at the word “news.”
 Go.com: Unimaginative people testing a computer at a store.
Ripoffreport: Ripoff victims.
BestBuy.com: Ripoff victims.
 Scientology.org: Ripoff victims.
Bit.ly: People heading somewhere else.
Gawker: Subjects of Gawker articles.
 IRS.gov: People who are way too on the ball.
4chan: Kids pretending to be hackers, hackers pretending to be kids, reporters pretending to be kids pretending to be hackers, child predators, child-predator predators, Han Solo.
eHarmony: 97% of desperate singles.
Loopt: 3% of desperate singles.
AdultFriendFinder: People who will claim tomorrow that they were on eHarmony.
Evite: People who still refuse to get on Facebook.
Friendster: Jonathan Abrams, sitting in a quiet room that no one has entered in weeks. He needs a bath

    Perhaps I am alone here, but I am not buying MOST of what Tiger Woods was selling. If this makes me a bad guy, that’s fine. I am a big boy with strong shoulders that can carry the burden of what I believe. I didn’t believe 80% of Tiger. Nobody’s perfect and I am willing to give him a second chance, but before I do, I need to get some things off my chest. 80% of that press conference was just trying to save his “brand.”

     First of all, how dare Tiger to blame the media for his family being in a bad position. I know that on paper it seems to be a horrible thing for someones kids and wife to be followed by paparazzi. That being said, let’s be 100% honest here and admit that this IS the world we live in. Right or wrong, nobody would be following his family around if Tiger wasn’t banging whores from coast to coast. Tiger put them in that position with his poor decisions. even as the most famous athlete in the world, his family wasn’t bothered until he made his poor decisions. Again, I am not saying it’s right, but it IS the world we live in and Tiger put them in that position.
     I also find it odd that in his “heartfelt” apology that was written for him by the best PR people in the world, that he took time to VEHEMENTLY deny that Elin beat the crap out of him. Did anyone else find that odd? What did that have to do with anything? The only thing saying that does is help save his image and “brand.”
     I would have more respect for Tiger if he didn’t even hold a press conference and just went back to playing golf. A lot of people in America are buying that poor excuse of a press conference (which only had his buddies in it) but not me. A real man answers questions, a real man SHOWS he is sorry in addition to saying it. Repentance is an action, not something you just say. Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes to save your image. Take advice from your sponsor and “Just Do It.”
     I do feel that Tiger is sorry for the pain he has caused to his family. I do feel he wishes this never happened. I do feel that Americans will forgive his acts. We are a country that loves to throw the term “second chance” around like it’s noody’s business. Tiger deserves a second chance, but I am not feeling sorry for him at all. To me, I am having a hard time coping with the argument that he can’t help himself and needs TONS of therapy for his “issue.”. Really? Be honest, the only difference in Tiger Woods and Derek Jeter or AROD is that Tiger is married. So let’s all stop with this sex addiction/disease talk. He can stop anytime he wants to. He just got caught. That is all this is about.
     I have been around enough pro athletes to know that this happens all the time. He just got caught. No therapy is needed, just apologize and get your rear end out and do what you do best….play golf. If Tiger wins a few majors and doesn’t act like a complete jackass, he will be fine. The proof is in the doing, not just the saying. No more phony pressers with prepared scripts. Face the music and get back out there. Clinton and Letterman have shown the blueprint to beat this. Did we ever see those guys holding press conferences ranting about Buddhism, denying that they got beat-up and blaming the media? These media savvy guys know better than that. Again, I will forgive, but I need to see some proof that he is trying to be better, not just hearing it.

My favorite news story of the morning…Enjoy!

CHUBBY BIRDS ARE MORE PROMISCUOUS THAN THINNER BIRDS:

–Recently, a group of researchers from the Max Planck Institutes in Germany wanted to find out how a bird’s weight affected its migration and mating patterns. 

–So they outfitted ten lean birds and ten chubby birds with stick-on radio transmitters in order to track their movements and behavior.

–What they learned is that chubby birds have more sex, more one-night stands and, overall, are quicker to give it up than thinner birds. 

–In other words, if a bird is looking for some relatively easy action, it will target the ROTUND birds first. 

(Register)

The following is a list of odds on what cliche’ Tiger Woods will say first at his press conference.

Cliché betting – What will Tiger say first?
7/2     I regret the hurt I’ve caused
5/1     Thank my family
5/1     I’m sorry
6/1     Time to reflect
10/1    Return to golf
12/1    Appeal for privacy
12/1    Getting back on the course
12/1    Thank God
14/1    Thanks to my sponsors who have stuck by me
14/1    The Masters
16/1    Doing what I do best
16/1    Look to my family and God for forgiveness
20/1    Thank IMG for all their support
20/1    I am now just looking to the future
20/1    Time for change
25/1    We all need to move on
25/1    We’ve all made mistakes
33/1    I love Elin very much
66/1    Sex addiction
80/1    I just want to get back out on the course and concentrate on scoring birdies
80/1    Hate the sin, love the sinner
80/1    OK I admit it looks bad, but…
100/1  Jack Nicklaus
100/1  I’ve lost count how many
100/1  Get in the hole
100/1  I got a few too many birdies
100/1  Gentlemen do prefer blondes
100/1  They tried to make me go rehab
200/1  Thank God for John Terry
200/1  I’m not as bad as Ashley
200/1  I am retiring from professional golf
250/1  My tiger is back in it’s cage
250/1  My tiger has been tamed
250/1  I did not have sexual relations with that woman
500/1  At least I didn’t pay

We’ve been talking a lot about Kool-Aid the last few days.  Thanks to Listener Aaron for sending me this funny clip of Dane Cook’s Kool-Aid skit!

Get your mind out of the gutter!  Check out what happened to this unfortunate cheerleader at halftime of a Raptors/Nets NBA game: